From Kindergarten, that is.
Today was a strange day for me. I’m not typically the type to get caught up in moments like this one, but today turned out to be a very emotional day for me.
As I watched my soon to be six year-old daughter walk out with the rest of her class, I was suddenly struck with the realization that she won’t be “all mine” for much longer. The days where she actually wants my attention are numbered. The moments where she actually wants my input and wants me to be there will slowly become a distant memory. My baby will not be my baby for too much longer!
I sat in awe as she went up and received her awards. I was amazed that my child had made the honor roll and topped her class in spelling. I still struggle to see her as anything more than the toddler who used to rattle off her ABC’s with ease and count to 100 without skipping a beat, whilst not being able to actually spell a single word, or do even the most rudimentary arithmetic. Yet there she was, collecting awards, achievements she had earned on her own. Proof absolute that she wasn’t a baby anymore. She has grown in to a little girl, who will soon be trying to be a little woman.
Before I know it, I will be relegated to the sidelines, viewing my beautiful Lily from afar. Sure, I might still get to play a leading role from time to time, but those moments will be less frequent and more fleeting with each passing day, week, month and year.
Today, as the ceremony came to a close and the children were released to join their families again, I made it a point to scoop my little girl up in my arms, give her a huge kiss and tell her that I loved her and I was so proud of her. Then I just held her for a few short seconds. In those short moments, she was just mine.
She could never comprehend how much she has my heart. Simply by existing, she has irrevocably changed my life and turned it all upside-down. And I’m happy for that. As chaotic and unpredictable my life has been since she entered it, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
For now, she’s still my baby. For now, she’s still my little girl. For now, she’s still all mine. For now…