In today’s fast paced society, it’s so easy to get caught up and lose ourselves in all the humdrum of daily life. Everything is instant these days. Patience is a virtue few possess.
It’s funny how certain things trigger thoughts and ideas, but I just recently had a “conversation” in the comments on one of my wife’s old photos, from about 6 years ago. It made me really think. How often do we really stop to consider the things that really matter?
As the comments kept coming in, I found myself thinking back to day I first met Jennifer. It was February 3rd, 2007. I had just walked off a plane, into the waiting area. I came down the stairs and walked around the corner to find her sitting in down. I promptly picked her up in arms, hugged her and kissed her. Shortly after that, we walked outside into a freezing cold winter night and hurried to the car.
My thoughts soon jumped forward to the day we got married. I remember telling Jennifer just a couple days ago that as I saw her enter the back of the glasshouse, I just about burst into tears. It took everything I had to hold back the tears. At that moment, she was all I could see. Everyone and everything else faded to a blur. In hindsight, I should have just let myself go and be in moment, but I didn’t want to spend half the ceremony wiping away tears.
As the comments began to evolve, I found myself thinking about my heavily pregnant wife and how beautiful I thought she looked. I regret that I ruined both pregnancies for her by mere inaction on my part, both times, but I remember her looking so beautiful. So perfect. Waddling around with a MASSIVE belly and my unborn children safely nestled inside.
I picture both my children. I remember gazing at both of them in amazement after they were born. Here they were, perfect, healthy and beautiful and they were mine. How did I get so lucky? Since their births, I’ve got to watch them reach all the milestones. First steps, first tooth, first birthday, first hair cut (though Hayden is yet to get one of these, it won’t be far away). I look forward to the many more that await us.
As I sit here feeling all nostalgic, I can’t help but wander about all the things I might be missing as well. I spend a lot of time in front of my computer. If I’m not in front of it for work, I on it to relax as well. I also spend a lot of time at the bowling center. I hope to start taking Lily along with me, but for now, I go by myself most of the time. Then there is all the hours that I put into helping out the local HS volleyball teams. I love seeing the growth in the girls I coach as the season progresses. Comparing players to how the were earlier in the season. That is very gratifying for me. However, I’m also acutely aware of how much time it really does consume.
These days, the majority of two parent households have both parents working full-time, with most having to do so just to cover the monthly expenses. Thankfully, I’m in a position where my wife doesn’t have to work. My income alone is enough to cover our monthly expenses. One of the drawbacks, is I miss out on time with my children. Often times, while my wife is outside playing with the kids, I’m upstairs in my office, looking out the window watching, if I can see them.
With so many distractions and ambient noise in our lives today, its all to easy to lose focus on the things that matter. Our children, after all, are really all that matter. If we miss the fleeting moments of their childhood, and they are fleeting, those are moments we can never get back. I hope to strike a better balance between the time I need for my own sanity, the time my children need of me and the time my wife needs of me. All too often, Jennifer is the last person to receive any of my time, when she should be up there with my children on the priority list.
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